Mercury in Retrograde or: How I Learned to Stop Tilting and Love Being an Emotional Basketcase

Alright champs. You drafted well. You’ve worked hard all year. You’ve listened to our advice. Maybe you even fleeced some poor opposing GM in a blockbuster trade that had your whole league whining (if so let us know, we love to hear about #drama). And now, you’re at the beginning or about to start your fantasy playoffs. The only thing standing between you and a cup is a few more weeks. Well, that and mercury in retrograde.

Even those among us who don’t know their ascendant from their ass likely know that mercury in retrograde is what professional astrologers call a “big yikes.” So how does this affect your fantasy playoffs? And how can you harness the power of the stars to win these critical matchups?

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Coming in Hot: 8 Players to Add, Watch List, or Let Languish

Troy Terry (1% owned)

I was hyped up about Terry going into the year when he started the season playing on the top line with Rakell and Getzlaf. He did nothing and then was eventually sent down to the AHL where he ripped it up, posting 37 points in 32 games. The Ducks never-ending injury problems earned him a call up again and he played Saturday’s matinee against the Devils on the fourth line and second power play unit. Playing just over 11 minutes, he managed to score a goal and an assist. I have him on my watch list for now – the kid has talent but until he gets the deployment he’s best left in free agency.

Image result for troy terry
Extremely Intimidating Photo from Mile High Sports

Continue reading “Coming in Hot: 8 Players to Add, Watch List, or Let Languish”

Patience or Panic?!: What to do with Ondrej Kase, Micheal Ferland, and more

Ondrej Kase: Few teams yo-yo their lines quite as much as Randy Carlyle’s Ducks. The last month we’ve seen Kase go between the top and bottom 6 about as often as internet commenters have questioned Carlyle’s job security. In the Ducks most recent game against the Oilers, Kase found his way back onto Getzlaf’s wing, and despite 6 shots from Kase, the Ducks were shut out. Continue reading “Patience or Panic?!: What to do with Ondrej Kase, Micheal Ferland, and more”

Mid Season Draft Regrets & Steals

 

As we’re at the midway point of the season, I thought it would be a fun and sad exercise to revisit my drafts and fill myself with regret at some of my picks that didn’t work out quite as expected and then build myself back up with a few that have proven to be pretty pretty nice. Not wanting to keep all the pain and pleasure to myself (I’m giving), I asked you, the lovely followers and readers of ATOI, to share your biggest regrets and baddest steals as well. Thanks to everyone who chimed in! Even if I didn’t give you a mention below it was really fun reading everyone’s comments! Tweet at us @avgtimeonice anytime – we love hearing from you.

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ATOI Top Five – Broken Resolutions

“Lies I Tell Myself and Others”

You can’t swing a dead e-cat on Twitter without hitting five different posts about the resolutions NHL players or teams or personalities should be making as we step into the tabula rasa of 2019. Frankly, we’re tired of reading the optimistic lies of the season, given that the vast majority will be discarded by March (but that gym membership charges through December, you go-getter you). So we’re bringing you our top five broken resolutions, that try as they might, NHLers will boldly promise and then pretend they never considered before the snow melts. In the spirit of the season, I’ve included my own as number five, and I’ll wager other fantasy GMs out there are as guilty of this vice as I am.

1. Gary Bettman – Resolution to not let NHL All-Star snubs get under his skin. Estimated date of letdown: 1/2/2019.

This failed resolution got accelerated Wednesday morning as Alex Ovechkin announced that despite being selected captain of the Metro Division, he had a standing engagement to wash his hair on January 26th. Bettman can’t do much but suspend Captain Cap for a game and grouse about letting the league down. Look for more stars to follow suit, especially those who were, like Ovechkin, upset with the league’s decision to forgo the Pyeongchang Olympics. Meanwhile, a week and a half of time off with a new baby at home will help Ovi limber up for the playoff run while providing some critical support on the homefront, which any new parents will tell you is as valuable as it gets. And if it should happen to chap Bettman’s ass? Well, все на солнце ровно глядим — неровно пьём и едим.

2. 30 NHL Teams – Resolution to get a Vegas flu shot. Estimated date of letdown: 1/6/2019.

The idea that teams would struggle in their first games against the Golden Knights at T-Mobile Arena spilled all kinds of media ink last offseason, but if anything, the 2018-19 strain has been even more punishing. Vegas is 5-0-2 on Friday and Saturday at home this season, and if you throw in New Year’s Day, which is basically a Sunday, they are 6-0-2 with three shutouts. Obviously these players are professionals, but they are humans with human vices, and when you’re watching San Jose lurch around the ice en route to a 6-0 loss on the second night of a Vegas back-to-back, you have to wonder. This resolution will get its next test on Sunday. If the Devils hit the absinthe and turn their red-hot goalie into Mackenzie Wormwood, we can feel confident that the other 30 NHL teams aren’t turning over a new leaf when they hit the strip.

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Sick Play Bro

Or, Holy Goal-ys: The 10 best goals (or near-goals) we saw this past week

It was a short week in the NHL, but luckily we also had the World Junior Championship this week

10. Dmitri Samorukov and Marco Lehmann

Not a goal but something I’ve never seen before! Two trips on one breakaway! An underrated skill among the non-hockey-playing public is how hard it is to get back on your feet after a trip. Lehmann just pops right back up and keeps going which is pretty bonkers.

9. Ryan Poehling

And that, folks, is why we go hard on the forecheck.

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2018: Year in Review

As we’re about to ring in 2019, let’s bid adieu to 2018 with a recap of the bet, worst, wildest, saddest etc etc moments in hockey from the past year. In no particular order, here are the most majestic moments of 2018.

Tweet at us @avgtimeonice with your own additions to this list and we’ll retweet our faves!

The Caps winning the cup and the entire bender that followed

Alright, this one is obvious but there’s no way we couldn’t include it. If you were cheering against Ovi, you’re terrible and should just unfollow us now. The only thing better than seeing him finally lift the cup was the entire team bender that ensued. Let’s refresh, shall we?

Still drunk Ovi throwing out the first pitch at the Nationals game before doing a keg stand was undeniably fantastic.

If this fountain play isn’t a top 10 moment in sports history then hell, idk what is:

But what might have been my personal favorite was Jakub Vrana’s entire instagram presence, from having Holtby hold his hand while he got his tattoo to him just very drunkenly and very happily saying the names of his teammates and pointing at them in his stories (which he probably has zero recollection of). I mean, this young wasted boy rolled up his short sleeve shirt to show off his wrist tattoo! God bless you, Jakub.

One thing’s for sure. This team set the precedent for the only acceptable way to celly the cup from here on out. Your move, 2019 champs.

Dustin Byfuglien taking out the trash

A minor, yet meaty moment from the playoffs.

Continue reading “2018: Year in Review”